RD.COM Jokes Valentine’s Day Jokes
Valentine’s Day Jokes
Fall head over heels with these Valentine’s Day jokes.
Cupid called, he wants his arrow back. Instead, capture someone’s heart with our Valentine’s Day jokes for kids and adults alike. Make your special someone feel extra special with our marriage jokes and love jokes.
Sparks Are Flying
Caught the Love Bug
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Love Stinks
Sweets for the Sweet
Small Packages
I’ll Call You
Animal Attraction
Q. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?
A. You’re purrr-fect for me.
Q. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?
A. You’re purrr-fect for me.
Meat You There
Q. Where do all the hamburgers take their girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A. To a meatball.
Q. Where do all the hamburgers take their girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A. To a meatball.
I Really Do
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
Made Just for You
Q. What Valentine’s Day candy is best to give a girl?
A. Her-She Kisses.
Q. What Valentine’s Day candy is best to give a girl?
A. Her-She Kisses.
He’s Got a Fast Car
Wine Goggles
Dreaming of Gifts
One morning Emma woke up with a start. Her husband Jim asked what was the matter, she told him, "I just had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight," Jim said.
That evening, Jim home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, Emma opened it - only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams”.
Lots of Letters
Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.
By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asked Mike.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.
Gardener in Love
Lights Out to Leave
"You came home early from your date," John observed to his roommate. "What happened?"
"Well," said the flatmate, "after dinner she invited me up to her flat. We had a couple of drinks and she put on some soft music. Then she reached over and turned out the lights."
"So, what next?" asked John, eyebrows raised.
"I can take a hint," said his flatmate. "I came home."
Valentine’s Day Genie
Woman Like Man
Nymphomaniac (nim(p)-fə-ˈmā-nē-yak)
n. A women as obsessed with sex as the average man.
Nymphomaniac (nim(p)-fə-ˈmā-nē-yak)
n. A women as obsessed with sex as the average man.